All day long, we study the chemistry of hot peppers and try to come up with new, flavorful hot sauces.
We'll add a dab of this and a smidgen of that, all the while staying away from additives,
preservatives, MSG, and other nasty/non-essential ingredients.
The sauces are all wheat-free and gluten-free!
We also write reports, do lots of thinking, planning, and designing.
Plus, we find the time to make REALLY COOL t-shirts. 
We are proud to base our work on the historic findings of Professor Wilbur Scoville.
Often called "The Father of Pepper Pungency", Scoville was a mild-mannered and 
hard working chemist/scientist who invented a ranking/rating scale measuring
the pungency of peppers way back in the late 1800's.

He was the proud recipient of Ebert Prize in 1922.
That doesn't even sound like a real prize, does it?
He also wrote THE book about something called "compounding" of medicine.
But let's be honest, who even knows what that means?